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chelseagirlSo it turns out my department is putting me up for both Excellence in Teaching by a University Lecturer and Excellence in Research by a University Lecturer this year.
The cynical part of me thinks a) of course, the one year there's not a big in person ceremony -- although that was last year as well, and b) yes, I've been around long enough and it's my turn. Also, note I am not competing with tenured/tenure track faculty for these awards; it's for us NTT also-rans.
The idealistic part of me is just thrilled for the recognition.
The pragmatic part of me says yes! Because I am applying for promotion to Senior University Lecturer (which is mostly an honorific, with a small pay bump) for next fall, and either or both of these awards should make it difficult for them to deny me.
Of course, I'm also trying to get the first 30 or so pages of my manuscript revised to submit to my local Mystery Writers of America chapter's mentoring program, which has to be done by the end of the month, and while I've been working on it, spring break is rushing past.
So my cousin's daughter got married last year and it ended up being a small group attending and the rest of us beaming in via Facebook Live for the ceremony. The reception is this coming June. Except . . . rather than in Maryland (where her parents live and the wedding was originally scheduled) or Chicago (where the couple lives and where the small actual wedding was held), it will be in Des Moines, Iowa.
Please note that: a) I would be the only member of my immediate family to attend, as my mother is unable to travel that far and Marty is likely to be just in the process of getting vaccinated at the time and also what with Marty being trans and this family being Evangelical Christians of the highest water -- like the bride has only ever been to fundamentalist Christian schools -- and even if they were to attend in masculine mode, they'd be likely to be VERY uncomfortable. As will I be, if any of many many political or scientific subjects comes up.
And b) that they specifically chose Iowa because more Covid restrictions have been lifted, thus guaranteeing that they could lock in a venue. Which, um, makes me deeply uncomfortable even though I will be fully vaccinated. Maryland would be doable by train, and Chicago is a major market for air travel, but Des Moines feels very far away, especially in current times. And there's not going to be a second ceremony, as Marty and I did (we married privately so we could file with immigration and then had a church wedding six months later, with Marty's friends and family from the UK traveling over), so I'd be flying to Iowa for a party.
So I mentioned this to several friends and thought they'd all understand what my reaction and mom's and Marty's was, which is that I would not be attending. Turns out, some people are definitely "family above all" or "oh, I went further than that for such-and-such."
But even though I'm going to be fully vaccinated then, I wasn't planning on resuming travel quite yet. Other than visiting mom on the other end of the state and some daytripping outside of the city to see people. I figured I'd get through an academic year of probably face-to-face classes, get my vaccine booster (I'm assuming it'll be like the flu jab, longer term, rather than the once-in-a-lifetime ones you get for some diseases), and probably summer 2022 begin traveling again.
Am I terrible? I have very few relatives, and this one set of three first cousins on my mom's side, along with their partners and children, are by far my closest blood relatives. (On dad's side, there are third cousins a couple of times removed, and I'm in touch with a brother and sister whose parents took me under their wing after my family moved away from the NYC area, though they're in the Northwest now. But we chat occasionally on Facebook and they are literally my closest living relatives on that side.)
The cynical part of me thinks a) of course, the one year there's not a big in person ceremony -- although that was last year as well, and b) yes, I've been around long enough and it's my turn. Also, note I am not competing with tenured/tenure track faculty for these awards; it's for us NTT also-rans.
The idealistic part of me is just thrilled for the recognition.
The pragmatic part of me says yes! Because I am applying for promotion to Senior University Lecturer (which is mostly an honorific, with a small pay bump) for next fall, and either or both of these awards should make it difficult for them to deny me.
Of course, I'm also trying to get the first 30 or so pages of my manuscript revised to submit to my local Mystery Writers of America chapter's mentoring program, which has to be done by the end of the month, and while I've been working on it, spring break is rushing past.
So my cousin's daughter got married last year and it ended up being a small group attending and the rest of us beaming in via Facebook Live for the ceremony. The reception is this coming June. Except . . . rather than in Maryland (where her parents live and the wedding was originally scheduled) or Chicago (where the couple lives and where the small actual wedding was held), it will be in Des Moines, Iowa.
Please note that: a) I would be the only member of my immediate family to attend, as my mother is unable to travel that far and Marty is likely to be just in the process of getting vaccinated at the time and also what with Marty being trans and this family being Evangelical Christians of the highest water -- like the bride has only ever been to fundamentalist Christian schools -- and even if they were to attend in masculine mode, they'd be likely to be VERY uncomfortable. As will I be, if any of many many political or scientific subjects comes up.
And b) that they specifically chose Iowa because more Covid restrictions have been lifted, thus guaranteeing that they could lock in a venue. Which, um, makes me deeply uncomfortable even though I will be fully vaccinated. Maryland would be doable by train, and Chicago is a major market for air travel, but Des Moines feels very far away, especially in current times. And there's not going to be a second ceremony, as Marty and I did (we married privately so we could file with immigration and then had a church wedding six months later, with Marty's friends and family from the UK traveling over), so I'd be flying to Iowa for a party.
So I mentioned this to several friends and thought they'd all understand what my reaction and mom's and Marty's was, which is that I would not be attending. Turns out, some people are definitely "family above all" or "oh, I went further than that for such-and-such."
But even though I'm going to be fully vaccinated then, I wasn't planning on resuming travel quite yet. Other than visiting mom on the other end of the state and some daytripping outside of the city to see people. I figured I'd get through an academic year of probably face-to-face classes, get my vaccine booster (I'm assuming it'll be like the flu jab, longer term, rather than the once-in-a-lifetime ones you get for some diseases), and probably summer 2022 begin traveling again.
Am I terrible? I have very few relatives, and this one set of three first cousins on my mom's side, along with their partners and children, are by far my closest blood relatives. (On dad's side, there are third cousins a couple of times removed, and I'm in touch with a brother and sister whose parents took me under their wing after my family moved away from the NYC area, though they're in the Northwest now. But we chat occasionally on Facebook and they are literally my closest living relatives on that side.)
no subject
Date: 2021-03-17 08:39 pm (UTC)a) COVID vaccine isn't 100% protection, even after both shots
b) long COVID is a thing
c) the relatives are transphobic
d) they are possibly endangering their unvaccinated guests and any eg unvaccinated catering staff at the venue
I think you have ample reason to skip it!
You could send a nice card and a nice present?
no subject
Date: 2021-03-17 08:50 pm (UTC)Yeah, they're not precisely Covid deniers, but they clearly don't understand the seriousness of it all. P's cool artist sister said she had to forbid them from coming to visit her for Thanksgiving last year -- they were "but we want you to meet [Fiance]" and she was all "you are crazy people who don't understand the importance of not traveling at this time." (She is also divorcing her husband of many years, and they are all "we don't believe in or accept divorce.")
Actually, I was, um, mischievous. My cousin and his wife don't drink alcohol at all. So I was surprised that M & B had registered for wineglasses. Since my 87 year old mother is not at all online, and everything was done online, I did the gift giving for both units, and we sent the two sets of wineglasses from the registry.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-17 10:24 pm (UTC)You already recognized their wedding with virtual attendance and a gift and I think by no means should you feel obligated to attend their party.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 02:44 pm (UTC)They're now dangling "if Des Moines is too far, we're going to have a party in Maryland on December 18" and I'm thinking "right, because final grades are usually due around the 22nd, and with all the holiday stuff, it'll be super-convenient to travel just then."
no subject
Date: 2021-03-17 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-17 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 02:49 pm (UTC)My family's so very small that normally I would go, but if it was in Maryland or Chicago or in Ohio where that part of the family grew up, yes. And in plague times, the attraction of a state with lesser restrictions is lost on me.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-20 02:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-20 02:56 pm (UTC)I just found out for the teaching one that I'd have to submit letters of recommendation and all of my teaching evaluations. I have so much PTSD from the job search process that I, um, don't always look at my teaching evaluations. I used to lose sleep about the one or two negative ones in each class . . . . literal insomnia.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-20 04:09 pm (UTC)Can you submit them without really looking at them?
no subject
Date: 2021-03-18 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 02:51 pm (UTC)It seems funny that watching on my computer counts as attending, but OTOH, pretty much everything I've done for the past 12 months (except going to campus to teach in a classroom wearing a mask while most of my students log in from home) is on the computer so I guess it really does.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-18 10:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 02:54 pm (UTC)You'd be driving, so you'd be okay probably -- but Michigan's policies vs. New York's would be good to know. But yes, I'd be flying and it looks like I might very well have to transfer, so that's a hard pass. Someone I told about this said she drove her daughter from NJ to Notre Dame and it wasn't bad since so few people are traveling this year, but the difference between a couple and their college age child driving that distance in their own car, and me doing it in a rental on my own? Uh uh.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-18 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 02:55 pm (UTC)I still suspect it's just my turn, and I'm also curious how competitive these things are, but it's always nice to be recognized.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 07:40 pm (UTC)I love my family, but I wouldn't travel a thousand miles to a random state just to party with them free of public health restrictions. Sometimes you have to send your regrets. Send a nice card and see them later.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-19 09:31 pm (UTC)Yes, I think it's going to have to be that way. I sent a gift and a card last year, but perhaps another card . . . it's a lot of travel for an afternoon's party, without even a ceremony attached.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-21 12:28 am (UTC)I'll join the chorus to say that I wouldn't go to a wedding--or more accurately, a party--under those conditions, and I adore my family.